Always a Hideaway...

Part one in my Exploring Sacred Spaces series

Over the past several weeks, I have been having the most endearing conversations about sacred spaces. As many of you all know, I grew up poor, so I didn’t have access to country clubs, camps, or anything that cost money. I had to work to find and/or create sacred spaces to make memories. I wanted to share some of those memories, ideas, and thoughts around sacred spaces.

For me, a sacred space is a place where you feel safe, regulated, comfortable. For some of us, whose environments weren’t as safe as some, we also sought invisibility in our safe spaces. I cannot count the amount of times “safety” meant that no one could find me.

My first and foremost experience with sacred spaces is outside/nature. For me, being grounded and surrounded by nature is the ultimate experience of connection to the universe. It is and has always been where I connect deepest with myself as well. It is almost like there are parts of me that are hidden within industrial places, but when I am in nature, I am free to be a witch, a fairy, a goddess, a king. The possibilities of exploration and self actualization feel endless in spaces of nature. When I was four years old, I would escape to a small patch behind our apartment building. My little sister would play with ants and bugs. I would collect daisies and create stories about alternate realities and different worlds I wanted to explore. These are my earliest memories of feeling free.

As I grew older, I began to find safety and comfort in books. I know it’s hard to think of a book as a sacred space, but feel me on this for one second. Narnia, Panem, Enchanted Forests, Hogwarts, Fillory… these are all magical places that I could visit. And I loved the experience of feeling like I am being transported out of what felt like so much loneliness and chaos into these worlds, where I could fight for myself and win. For a long time, I was too scared to speak in new spaces, which meant I wasn’t making friends. Books became my friends. Stories, worlds, characters….I created spaces and memories within the pages. I will always feel home within a library.

At one point in my childhood, I also discovered abandoned buildings and spaces. I have always been curious about structures, monuments, and historic buildings. In Germany, there are so many abandoned spaces to explore and it became a place of hiding and safety for me and my friends. I could read, act out fantasies, practice witchcraft, journal, play, and pray. While everyone’s obsessed with what’s new and modern, I am always on the hunt for spaces that have been left behind and forgotten. Imagine the energy and power in those forgotten spaces.

Lastly, my closest …. I know. I know. But my closet has been a safe and sacred space for me for all my life. When I was younger and we didn’t have a stable home for a little while, I would hide in my grandmas closet for safety and secrecy. When housing for us children became stable, and I had a closet, I saved a space for me to create a nook. Inside, I kept my favorite art supplies, toys, and projects that I was working on. I would listen to my radio and take notes on random facts that I heard on the radio. I would also write down the lyrics to my favorite songs and for my American friends, I would translate popstar magazines from German to English for them. It’s where I would go when my parents would fight, and as an adult, it’s where I would have my postpartum depression spells and where I would hide from my children as I cried through turbulence in my own marriage. It’s also the most easily accessible way for me to get relief from sensory overload and a way for me to be invisible.

When you think of sacred spaces, what comes to mind for you?

What are some places that kept you safe when you were in danger?

Do you think that sacred spaces have to exist in a tangible reality or do you agree that books are ways to teleport to sacred spaces like I do?